16 years

Today is kind of a somber day for my family. After reading my sister's blog post today about my dad, I felt the need to copy her and to write about him also.

It was exactly 16 years ago today that my dad passed away from non-hodgkins lymphoma. I was three years old and obviously did not understand exactly what death was, as far as I knew I just thought he was asleep and cried when I thought we were leaving him behind at the church. I hardly have any memories of my dad. The only things that bring back feelings of nostalgia is the song pachelbel canon in d (it was played at his funeral) and the vision in my head of watching them take the stretcher down the stairs after he passed away (until recently I thought this was a dream I just had, until I talked to my siblings about it and realized it actually happened). Fortunately, I have my five older siblings and my mom to tell me stories and different memories they had with my dad. I love hearing stories and getting to know him better through the rest of my family. From what I have heard, he was an amazing man. Humble, self-less, hard-working, loved the gospel and made it the number one priority in his life, he loved to sing and had a beautiful voice, he is basically everything I want in a future husband. I also have been fortunate to see old home videos of him and ones of him singing. These make him seem more real to me and always love watching them.

While sometimes I feel bad for myself and think how sad it is that I am on the same level of knowledge of my nieces and nephews when it comes to knowing him, I never fail to feel comfort of the knowledge of eternal families and knowing that he is watching over me. I know that if I live my life in the right way, I will see him again. I will do anything and everything to make that happen. I love him so much and I am so grateful my parents were sealed in the temple and that we (my siblings and I) were born under the covenant. Another thing that I have to be grateful for is that my mom married my step-dad. He too is an amazing guy and has taught me so many life lessons that I will carry throughout my life. He has been such an example to me in many ways and never fails to help me whenever needed. He has always been there for me.

To sum it all up, God has a plan for us and I am thankful for that knowledge.